Today is Mum’s Day! So you best be giving flowers, chocolates or whatever your mum wants (potentially acts of service like cleaning the bathroom, foot massages or yard work). If your mum is not around anymore or if she moved to Idaho…which is about the same to be fair…you can dote on someone else’s mum. Just make sure to do something, cuz if one thing is bloody certain is that some mum birthed you. And I’ve heard the birthing process for mums the world over is a fairly unpleasant experience…I personally have no interest in birthing a child from my body and considering I was born a dude–I find it a fairly unlikely affair (though I have been told immaculate bro-ceptions do happen). I digress. If you can’t think of what to get your bio-mum or some random mum you pulled off the street, I have a solution! I like to make cards for mum on Mum’s Day. This year is no different. Below is my poem to her you can copy. Feel free and pass it off as your own. She’ll think you’re the reincarnation of Shakespeare–no doubt ^_^. If you’re too lazy to make a card, you can send it to her in a text. Make sure to include a bunch of kissy heart emojis, flowers and the like for cinematic affect. Happy Mum’s Day Y’all!
Mum,
I just want to let you know
I appreciate you so
For all that are
For all that you’ve done
For your support
For your advice
When I ask for help
You help and don’t think twice
You make life so kind
So nice
What a slice of life!
The list goes on
Longer than any song
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Happy Mum’s Day Mom!
I love you!
